24 November 2008

Early New Year's Resolution

I had to do it now. It was too important to wait.

I've stopped yelling.

I hate myself when I yell at my kids. They're just being kids after all. It's their job to push all my buttons and drive me insane. It's their duty to try to kill us as soon as they can. If we're not around they can eat Skittles for breakfast.

Oh. Wait. That's what they had this morning. Hmmm. Whoops.

Anyway, I've found myself yelling a lot lately. I don't really know what it is. I'm just a lot less patient these days. Stress? Economics? Holidays looming just over the horizon? It's a combination of things for sure and it's ugly. It's obviously effecting me and more so the boys. Poor Bii has taken to curling up in a ball - usually crawling under the table or behind a chair when I raise my voice. O just starts crying immediately and dives in to me seaking comfort. It's not fair to them. They really are just kids being kids.

So, I have changed my evil ways and now refuse to get pissy when they don't do as I have asked. I vow to take deep breaths and count silently to 10. I will actually LOWER my voice when I want them to listen. I will practice patience and understanding. I will put myself in their little shoes and try to remember how hard it is to be small.

There is no reason to yell if they refuse to brush their teeth. If they fight over a toy, they'll learn that they have to work it out for themselves. I happen to like the way Green beans squeek in my teeth, but it doesn't me everyone else should. Pots and pans were meant to be used as drums. The news can wait. It's all gloom and doom anyway.

I've been focusing on this for the better part of a week now and I'm amazed at how much more calm I am. Getting out of the house this morning was a bit of a challenge - it always is on Mondays - but I kept calm and actually laughed at the comedy that it really was.

Thanksgiving at Grampa's could prove to be a challenge. But one I'm ready to take on.

I just hope this is a resolution that lasts.


She She said...

I make this same resolution a few times a year. It's hard. When I do lose it, I always apologize immediately.

A Buns Life said...

Take it minute by minute, which turns into hour by hour, which hopefully can turn into day by day. Just don't forget, that luckily, children are VERY forgiving....and each minute, hour and day is a new one giving us a new opportunity to start over. I start over A LOT. :) hugs.

DysdHousewife said...

I stopped yelling a long time ago..mostly because I realized nobody was listening.. LOLOL

melissa said...

not only do I yell... sometimes i say shut up. and fuck always pops out of my mouth
i'm going to mommy hell. maybe in a handbasket

Trisha said...

Good luck! My parents very rarely yelled when I was growing up. Instead they used the dreadful - quiet, calm voice. Much, much scarier! I must say that I used it often when teaching and it was much more effective than yelling.

Good luck again!

FishermansDaughter said...

ME TOO! And it's amazing how my kid's behavior has improved. It took me ages to figure out a stern voice and consequences work far better than losing my nut. Every once in a while I forget and relapse, but only when I'm stretched beyond (hungry, sick, tired, etc.). Your kids are a lot younger than mine (6 & 10) so congrats on getting it way earlier!

Familia said...

good for you! i'm wish i could make that resolution stick but it sure seems to have been a hard, stressful Autumn this year.

Maeve's Mom said...

What a great resolution, I think I'm going to steal that one for myself, I often feel exactly the way you described in your post. No more yelling (we can do it)!