28 August 2009


My sister-in-law (#3-of-5) is an amazing photographer. She has a knack for bringing out the best in people (and not just with her camera). When we visited last weekend she took some wonderful shots of the boys. This one, though silly, really captures them well. My two goofballs. Oh how I love them so.

25 August 2009

Motivation (Or lack there of...)

I have none.

I don't want to work, or cook, or clean or read or... well, pretty much anything.

I need a vacation.

From everything.

18 August 2009

Change of Plans

Saturday was a glorious day and we were going to make the most of it.

We set out early with a plan: On the boat at 9:00. Head out to Fort Gorges to explore for an hour or so, then get back on the boat, fish a little; find a sandy beach to romp on, have lunch, swim and head home before it gets too hot. Perfect!

9:15 arrival at Fort. Picture perfect morning.

We anchored and set out to explore:

Fort Gorges is a very cool place in the middle of Casco Bay. The boys love it.

We found new nooks and crannies and spent quite a bit of time looking around.

Finally deciding to move on with our day...


Umm... Houston?

We have a problem...

When the tide goes out, leaving you marooned, there's nothing you can do but make the most of what you've got and wait it out until it comes back.





This is what makes my boat float.

Thank God we were prepared. We had sunscreen, snacks and lunch and shovels and pails and a cooler full of cold beer. What more could anyone need?

11 August 2009

I Can

I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep.

I’m wrestling with too much right now.

Change is in the air and I really don’t do too well with change. I’m a Virgo, so I try to have everything in its place. I need to have control, but there are just too many unknowns right now and it’s driving me c r a z y.

It started with a little snowflake and now feels like an avalanche.

A friend passed away two weeks ago. She was only 32. My heart is broken for her and her family and her 18 month old son. My heart breaks for my boys because her twin sister is was the primary caregiver at their daycare and, as we suspected, is leaving our center to take over her sister’s daycare. R is the only main reason we are still where we are… I can keep them there, BUT:

Owen is supposed to start Preschool next month.

R was going to transport him and her son to and from this two hour, two day a week, not made for working mothers’ preschool and now it looks as though this won’t happen. I don’t want to pull him out. I can’t. He needs preschool. I think it would help his speech SO much. AND he’s been SO looking forward to it.

So I looked around and found another all day preschool that actually looks better and, if I enroll him full time, would be cheaper than the other two combined. BUT, if I remove him from our current daycare, I don’t think the owner will react very well. She’s a bit of a bwitch. We’re already cutting her paycheck significantly as next month Finn is starting Kindergarten and I really don’t have an alternative to his before and after care. I work from 8 – 5 and he doesn’t get on the bus until 8:45 and school ends at 3:00. Even though the owner is hardly ever at the daycare, I’m afraid she’ll make life very difficult for Finn – or tell us she can’t take one without the other. (Yeah, she’d do that)

On top of this dilemma I worry about Finn. I’m so excited for him to start school and be exposed to new things and people, BUT:

What classroom will he be in? Will he be okay on the bus? He’s staring school in a cast. Will the other children be nice to him? Will he be too much of a goof-ball? How will we juggle everything?

By the end of the day I am exhausted. I’m scared of things I don’t have any much control over. So I fall heavily in to bed and fall soundly asleep; for about an hour. Then the tick of the clock taunts me for the rest of the dark night…

Can someone please tell my brain to shut the hell up?!?

Writing this down helps. I re-read these words and it all seems so insignificant. I know we’ll manage, but I just want to do.the.right.thing. I’m so afraid of making a bad choice and then having to dig out of the deep hole.

I remind myself of what Goethe said, “Just trust yourself, and then you will know how to live.”

I must. I will.

I can.

04 August 2009

Oops, He Did it Again...

I am not kidding. Does this look like a kid who just learned he has to wear a cast for the last 6 weeks of the summer? I don't think he could possibly be happier about it. Me? Not so much.

We had an amazing Saturday. We got up early. Hooked up the boat and were on the ocean by 8:00. It was a glorious morning.

We were home by 1:00, had lunch and then went for a swim in the neighbor's pool (we're taking care of it this week while they're on vacation) and then in ours. (We like our little one better)

By 4:00 we were ready to go to friend's for a barbecue. We weren't there 5 minutes when I lost sight of the boys. I scanned the yard and spotted Finn sitting with his brother on the ground laughing. Oh, that's a nice I thought.

Wait! What? That's not a happy face! Oh sh*t!!!!!

When I reached him, it was clear from the tears streaming down his cheeks that he had fallen from the monkey bars. We got ice on his hand quickly, but when he refused a Freeze Pop from our host, I knew we were headed to the ER.

So yes. The boy has fractured his wrist for the second time in less than a year. His doctor isn't concerned about a vitamin deficiency or anything worse. "He's an active young boy. Sh*t happens." (I love my pediatrician)

So what you can't tell from the picture is the orthopedics people (bless their hearts!) created a removable cast for him. They stressed that he can only take it off to swim and bathe, and he must be VERY careful. Thankfully, I saved his cast from last year so we'll put that on him when he wants to swim. I think his doctor will be pleased. Finn certainly is.

I'm just sad that he'll have to start Kindergarten with a cast on his arm. Way to get noticed kid.