ARGH!

Sabotaged by PMS... sigh. ("Oh, hello cookie, you look lonely...") I will get on the treadmill tonight - even if for 10 minutes - to see if I can kick that evil beyotch where she belongs.

Words of Wisdom

Finn, this morning, witnessed me struggling with something:

"Um, Mama? Sometimes you have to look deep within yourself to solve your problems. Maybe you should do that."

"Wow. How'd you get so smart?" I said stealing a huge hug from my incredibly wise 5 year old...

"SpongeBob, Mama."


Well, there you have it folks: Eternal wisdom from within a pineapple under the sea.

Seriously?

$40 dollars for a Halloween costume?

And a Woopie Cushion no less

It has gotten out of control...

Though this one is pretty freakin' awesome!

But I mean seriously??... $85 dollars for a Teddy Roosevelt costume?

I have to say I'm pretty partial to the home made variety:

Finn - aka Bob the Builder 2007

This costume was very simple and fun to make - despite the fact that I stayed up past midnight coloring in the white checks on the shirt. ("Mama, Bob's shirt isn't red and white!! It's red and orange!!!" He cried at 7 pm the night before Halloween..)

October brings a lot of excitement for my kids. The planning has begun. Now I just have to figure out how to do this...

Avatar Aang. the Last Airbender

I've got 30 days...
Wish me luck.

More Proof Mama Needs to Censor Herself

Overheard from the kitchen yesterday when I thought the boys were nicely playing trucks together...

O: "No, Bii! That MY fruck! Give back MY fruck!!"

F: "Oh for the love of God brother. Just chill!"

Mama: "Now where on earth would he pick that up?"

Oops... Bad Mama.

Twisted

Perfect representation for how I'm feeling...

If You're Happy and You Know it...

I'm down, but not out. I've had to remind myself lately how truly blessed I am.

With these two at the helm it's really not that difficult to remember...

More soon.

Patooties

My sister-in-law (#3-of-5) is an amazing photographer. She has a knack for bringing out the best in people (and not just with her camera). When we visited last weekend she took some wonderful shots of the boys. This one, though silly, really captures them well. My two goofballs. Oh how I love them so.

Motivation (Or lack there of...)

I have none.

I don't want to work, or cook, or clean or read or... well, pretty much anything.

I need a vacation.

From everything.

Change of Plans

Saturday was a glorious day and we were going to make the most of it.

We set out early with a plan: On the boat at 9:00. Head out to Fort Gorges to explore for an hour or so, then get back on the boat, fish a little; find a sandy beach to romp on, have lunch, swim and head home before it gets too hot. Perfect!

9:15 arrival at Fort. Picture perfect morning.

We anchored and set out to explore:

Fort Gorges is a very cool place in the middle of Casco Bay. The boys love it.

We found new nooks and crannies and spent quite a bit of time looking around.

Finally deciding to move on with our day...

When...

Umm... Houston?

We have a problem...

When the tide goes out, leaving you marooned, there's nothing you can do but make the most of what you've got and wait it out until it comes back.

Six.Hours.Later.


so

we

did

This is what makes my boat float.

Thank God we were prepared. We had sunscreen, snacks and lunch and shovels and pails and a cooler full of cold beer. What more could anyone need?

I Can

I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep.

I’m wrestling with too much right now.

Change is in the air and I really don’t do too well with change. I’m a Virgo, so I try to have everything in its place. I need to have control, but there are just too many unknowns right now and it’s driving me c r a z y.

It started with a little snowflake and now feels like an avalanche.

A friend passed away two weeks ago. She was only 32. My heart is broken for her and her family and her 18 month old son. My heart breaks for my boys because her twin sister is was the primary caregiver at their daycare and, as we suspected, is leaving our center to take over her sister’s daycare. R is the only main reason we are still where we are… I can keep them there, BUT:

Owen is supposed to start Preschool next month.

R was going to transport him and her son to and from this two hour, two day a week, not made for working mothers’ preschool and now it looks as though this won’t happen. I don’t want to pull him out. I can’t. He needs preschool. I think it would help his speech SO much. AND he’s been SO looking forward to it.

So I looked around and found another all day preschool that actually looks better and, if I enroll him full time, would be cheaper than the other two combined. BUT, if I remove him from our current daycare, I don’t think the owner will react very well. She’s a bit of a bwitch. We’re already cutting her paycheck significantly as next month Finn is starting Kindergarten and I really don’t have an alternative to his before and after care. I work from 8 – 5 and he doesn’t get on the bus until 8:45 and school ends at 3:00. Even though the owner is hardly ever at the daycare, I’m afraid she’ll make life very difficult for Finn – or tell us she can’t take one without the other. (Yeah, she’d do that)

On top of this dilemma I worry about Finn. I’m so excited for him to start school and be exposed to new things and people, BUT:

What classroom will he be in? Will he be okay on the bus? He’s staring school in a cast. Will the other children be nice to him? Will he be too much of a goof-ball? How will we juggle everything?

By the end of the day I am exhausted. I’m scared of things I don’t have any much control over. So I fall heavily in to bed and fall soundly asleep; for about an hour. Then the tick of the clock taunts me for the rest of the dark night…

Can someone please tell my brain to shut the hell up?!?

Writing this down helps. I re-read these words and it all seems so insignificant. I know we’ll manage, but I just want to do.the.right.thing. I’m so afraid of making a bad choice and then having to dig out of the deep hole.

I remind myself of what Goethe said, “Just trust yourself, and then you will know how to live.”

I must. I will.

I can.