Motivation (Or lack there of...)

I have none.

I don't want to work, or cook, or clean or read or... well, pretty much anything.

I need a vacation.

From everything.

Hooray Hooray

Hooray, hooray! The first of May... I can still hear her.

This is how it started. A little tribute to my mother. A blank page where I hoped to voice my grief that she was gone to hopefully pull me from the black hole that I was in. I wasn't sure if it would help, but it has. Tremendously.

I can hardly believe it but it's been one year since I started this little blogging journey. I want to extend a huge thank you to all of the people I have "met" out here. It's the strangest thing. I'm not really all that surprised by it any more; and I know all of you share the same feeling: I've made so many new friends out here. Some of you I'll never meet face to face, others I hope to meet soon. (Melissa, when are we meeting for martinis?) You have all had an impact on my life. Though I didn't know it when I started, you're the reason I'm here. You've listened to me bitch and whine; cry and celebrate. You've offered acceptance, support and advice and helped me through many a difficult moment. Thank you for your shoulders, your pats on the back and, most importantly, the kicks in the ass. It's incredibly powerful, this sisterhood. It's so nice to know I'm not on this journey alone.

Happy First of May everyone.

Boys

We had a lot of outdoor activities this weekend, the most exciting being Finn’s first exposure to being a part of a team. T-Ball practice was a hit! New friends! New skills! New fun! What more could a 5 year old want? Oh yeah, McDonald's. (Don’t judge)

Daddy-O also had big outdoor projects that involved a chainsaw so, needless to say, the boys spent a lot of time with him in the back yard. I did a lot of hauling of future firewood and admiring of my very strong husband and loud tool smitten boys.

Yesterday I had a bit of a breather from firewood duty and moved on to household chores. From the quiet of my kitchen I folded laundry and occasionally sneaked a peek at my boys and their dad reveling in all things Boy. My heart stopped at least three times as I watched the boys slip from a tree branches. I recovered quickly enough when it became evident there were no broken bones.

Nothing, though, could reel me in from near panic as I caught a glimpse of Daddy-O, hands clenched to his chest, stumbling away from the downed tree. The look on his face was pained. He started to tumble and then fell to the ground. I raced out on the deck yelling What’s wrong!?! My heart raced. My throat tightened. Where was the phone? What do I do?!!? Oh my God, NO!

Daddy-O heard my panicked cries and jumped to his feet and Finn, who witnessed the whole thing, yelled to me: It’s okay Mama. I just shot Daddy with my laser gun!

As my heart leapt back in to my throat and I broke in to uncontrollable sobs, I heard Finn say to his father Dadda, we should probably warn Mama before we play guns, huh?

My husband, who can fake die like no other, held me long and hard and promised he would.

It Worked!!

Well... Sorta. The Flu Bug Diet helped me lose 10% of Owen's weight! 3 lbs in a day probably isn't the most healthy weight loss plan but if it gives me a jump start I'll take it!

I'm feeling better now, but sadly my sister decided she and her family would postpone their trip. What? Driving 6+ hours with the possibility of vommiting children (or worse, HUSBAND) isn't her kind of fun? Love ya K. Can't wait to see you.

When It Rains...

Owen started throwing up Saturday morning. He finally stopped on Tuesday, but then came the dreaded diarrhea. He's back at school now but he's still so, so tired. He's lost 10% of his body weight in less than a week (3 lbs.) His little bones are poking out. Poor sweet boy.

And now... I have it. If only I could loose 10% of my body weight. Hmmmm...

Praying that Finn and Daddy-O are spared and that we don't infect my sister and her family who come to visit tomorrow (YAY!!!!)

Thankfully the weather is cooperating now and I can open the windows and let the breeze carry the yuck away.