31 December 2008

Right Here. Right Now.

Here you go Heathen

This is what vacation looks like. What? Is that a bit of a smile on my face???

It'll be interesting to see this a year from now...

23 December 2008

OK. I'm Over Myself

Yesterday was a tough one. I overreacted and feel like such an ass for getting so upset about something as stupid as a snow day.

'Tis the season, no?

A friend did come to my rescue for a few hours yesterday and I couldn't be more grateful. I got done what needed to be done at work and (thank God for remote access!!) didn't have to take a vacation day after all.

I have a post-it on my desk. It's been there for years now. I can't remember where it came from, but it's a simple reminder:

Breathe sister, breathe. Make way for grace and forgiveness and don't forget to breathe....

I am, once again, counting my blessings and trying to remember to breathe.

22 December 2008


Yep. That's me. So effing bullshit I can hardly see.

We got over 20" of snow yesterday and last night. It's absolutely gorgeous outside. It's a beautiful, sunny, sparkly day and I couldn't ask for a more wonderful prelude to Christmas.

But I'm so freaking pissed right now my head may explode. (Look out!!) It stopped snowing early this morning. It's not like there's still a winter storm happening out there. It's clear, sunny and beautiful.

We woke early and shoveled. That's what you do when it snows, right? When you have obligations you adjust your schedule to make sure you get to where you need to be on time, right?

Apparently not.

We got word that our daycare would be opening late. That's acceptable. The plow guy can only be in so many places at once. There's a lot of snow out there. But when I called at 9:45 to make sure we were on schedule, we found out that no one had been there yet and it didn't look like they'd get there at all today. WTF????

SO here I am. Stuck.

I need to be at work. I have no alternative when it comes to child care. I know it was my decision to move far from my family. But it's not like they'd be able to help me out anyway. They have lives too. And I don't have the luxury of friends who can bail me out in a situation like this. And I'm pissed. I'm pissed that I have to take more vacation time from work that isn't vacation time. I'm pissed that I still have to pay my daycare provider - even though she doesn't pay her staff if they can't make it to work. I'm pissed that my mother isn't here to hold my hand and tell me how to make shit like this work. She did it. BY HERSELF. At least I have Daddy-O - who will also have to take more vacation time that isn't vacation time.

Waaah, waaah, waaaah. Poor me.

There are some things that are just not fair and I'm having a hard time working through this one.

18 December 2008

Merry Merry

This is helping too... Little by little, I'm getting there.

17 December 2008

Mmm, mmm, good!

Bii has been on a clean your plate kick for a few days now. I'm really not sure why. Growth spurt, perhaps? Anyway, he's very proud of himself and always makes it known that he has eaten every last bite on his plate.

Last night as I was clearing other dishes to the sink, he emerged behind me - empty plate in hand.


Now, bear in mind that burps are a common occurrence in our house but this one shook the roof!

"Wow Bii. That was something! What do you say?"

"I say, Mama, that was an expression of YUM!"

The kid floors me.

16 December 2008

I'm trying to get in to the holiday spirit...

This is helping!

Ho Ho Ho!

15 December 2008

Merry Christmas

Well, we survived the ice storm with minimal damage - deck railing, soggy basement, a few more gray hairs... and a shiny new generator. I'm still counting our blessings.

08 December 2008

Gotta Change Things Up

We have to figure something out. This is getting O.L.D.

The boys look SO forward to family days (weekends). We do too. With one exception:

Bii and O wake up too bloody early.

I don't know how to adjust their internal clocks so they'll sleep later. Both of them woke before 5:30 on Saturday AND Sunday.

Then, this morning? I had to haul their lazy asses out of bed at 7:00!!!

What I would give to sleep until 7:00!!

I have tried everything I can think of: Put them to bed later. Put them to bed earlier. Teach them that they can't come out of their room before the clock says 6:XX. Turn on their music. Bribe them. If they wake up, there's no playing quietly in their room (note to self: look in to installing doors upstairs). If they're up, they're up and so is Mama or Daddy-O.

I'm tired. Anyone have any suggestions?

05 December 2008


(stolen from sheshe)

One Word: Ohm

Where is your cell phone? In my Pocketbook? Purse? Handbag? (Man, I really dislike those words...)

Where is your significant other? Home.

Your hair color? Mousey Brown - with streaks of gray that actually look like blond highlights in the right light.

Your mother? Sadly, deceased

Your father? Happily, not

Your favorite thing? My children and my husband

Your dream last night? Extremely involved, slightly scary, but I can't remember a thing now...

Your goal? Patience. Grace.

The room you’re in? My office.

Your hobby? Trying to find one. I need a diversion.

Your fear? Letting life slip by - not giving my children everything they deserve

Where do you want to be in six years? On the right road to a comfortable retirement

Where were you last night? Home.

What you’re not? Patient

One of your wish-list items? To be in better control of my emotions

Where you grew up? The Adirondacks - New York

The last thing you did? Put more memory in a computer

What are you wearing? Blue jeans and an old maternity sweatshirt. (sad, sad, sad)

Your TV? Um... Which one? We have too many

Your pet? Riley the Golden Retreiver and Dewey the Cockateil

Your computer? Dell Vostro 1700 laptop

Your mood? Lately: Constant PMS

Missing someone? My mother, my sister, myself...

Your car? 2004 Kia Sorento

Something you’re not wearing? A bra

Favorite store? Target

Your summer? Hopefully to KVNY and Minaki, Ontario

Love someone? With all my heart

Your favorite color? Varying shades of blue

When is the last time you laughed? Wow. I need to work on this. I can't remember the last time I truly laughed. K2: I need a Ghh moment.

Last time you cried? This morning

Tagged: You and you and you.


My grandmother bought a house on Nantucket before it was cool and expensive. Summer was amazing out there - especially as children with nothing better to do - but the best time to go was Thanksgiving. The weather was usually still mild and the throngs of tourists had long since gone. It was something I looked forward to for most of the year. Sometimes I would fly out - it's a hop, skip and a jump from Boston - but other times I'd take the ferry and soak in the salt air.

When Gaga passed away, we had to sell the house. It was a very, very sad day. Thankfully, the neighbors bought the property and for a few years would rent it to my father for the Thanksgiving holiday. Even though the house was no longer "ours", it remained exactly the same - furnishings and all. It was good to have the family all together at Gaga's.

Of all the usual Thanksgiving traditions - Turkey and all the fixings, Graber Olives, Cribbage tournaments and endless walks on the beach - we usually had a full on lobster feed. When Gaga was still with us, we'd get 3 Lb'ers and split the pieces between us while my grandmother feasted on the bodies alone, quite contented. It was always a happy time.

It's been several years since we've been to Nantucket. It's been harder for us all to get together for the holidays. But my father has a new home this year and new traditions have begun. We were all together this year and it was something quite wonderful. I look forward to making new memories again - as long as some tradtitions never change.

04 December 2008

The Secret Swing

We went to Grammy and Grandpa's new house for Thanksgiving. It's an old, incredibly beautiful home surrounded by trees on a rolling hill. It's still so new to G & G that they didn't know about the swing at the top of the hill. It took all of 6 seconds for the boys and their cousins to find it.

Aside from being away from their normal surroundings - which is always fun - and being with family, this was certainly what they were most thankful for this Thanksgiving.

03 December 2008

He Melts My Heart

02 December 2008

Thanksgiving Redux

The thing that sucks about going away for Thanksgiving?

No leftovers.

Big suck-a-roonie. I miss me some leftovers.

So, thanks to the Post Holiday Wicked Good Sale, I got a 14 pound bird for mere pennies.

We'll be creating our own leftovers this weekend.

14 pound bird + two adults + two kiddos under 5 = Boat load of leftovers!!