Corner of Funk and Somewhere

I just can’t figure myself out.

I should be the happiest person in the world. I have a wonderful, loving husband, two sweet and beautiful boys, a home we can afford, a decent job, a generous and loving extended family… So why am I feeling so down? Why is my fuse so short? Why do I raise my voice? Why do I feel so empty sometimes? There’s no explanation – or at least no rational one I can find.

I want so much to be able to define this funk but I just feel so lost right now…

Photo courtesy of Monkey River Town via Flickr

An Eye For an Eye

I knew there was something different about him the first time I met him. The bar was darkly lit and from where he sat a halo of light surrounded his head making it difficult to see the details of his face. It wasn’t until a few more Friday Night Happy Hour celebrations in the same dark bar, that I realized that one of his eyes wasn’t “normal”. As we got to know each other the story emerged.

When he was a young boy, he and his brother were playing “swords”. Their mother, listening from the kitchen, warned them to be careful; “Stop that before someone puts an eye out.”

Fateful words. Haunting really.

With one swift jab, Pete’s left eye would be damaged beyond repair.

He lived his life like a normal boy – just only with sight in one eye. It never stopped him from doing anything his friends did. I can only imagine it might have taken him longer to make those friends; how the staring and taunting by too honest children would have made him feel.

But he grew up. His mother taught him confidence and never treated him differently. He married; became a skilled woodworker; a world traveler; a loyal friend; a friend who is outgoing and fun. He makes friends easily. But he always has to live with the fact that people who don’t know him well and don’t know his story yet will look at his face, first with a nervous glance and try not to stare in to that dark, dead eye.

Pressure began to build behind the eye a year ago. He’d get awful, debilitating headaches. A trip to an eye specialist diagnosed glaucoma and fluid problems and warned it would only get worse.

So it was with nervous excitement that he prepared for the surgery to remove the eye and prepare for a glass prosthetic. It was supposed to be a simple procedure and within a few weeks he dreamed his life would be dramatically different. No more pain. No more stares and awkward questions.

The operation went as planned and he wore his pirate’s patch with pride and offered to show us what was behind it.

Um. Nope. Thanks though!

But the healing didn’t happen as everyone had hoped. It took months of pain and disappointing check ups, but it healed. Slowly. And the day finally came, 4 months delayed, but Pete finally got his new eye!

I am so excited to finally see him and eagerly anticipate forgetting which eye is the bad one. But I will always cringe when I see my boys pick up a stick to play “swords”.

Congrats. PG! We’re so happy for you!

Oh, The Humanity!

This is for sheshe

The hair, people. Check out the HAIR!!

No matter how big the storm, no wind could make it budge!

Mama Goose 1986

Mmm, mmm, good!

The beginning of what would become an absolutely wonderful turkey stew. Yum.

Snow Day!

People look at me like I have four heads when I say I love the snow. But I do. I love winter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of sub-freezing temperatures and ice storms. Nor do I much care for patchy, old, dirty snow. But there’s nothing like a foot of fresh powder to blanket an otherwise dreary view.

And as long as the temperature is above freezing and there's no snow in my boots, I’m a happy camper. So are my guys.

Free Suave Shampoo

Hurry! It is only good for today.

http://suavenomics.com/

This is for a full bottle not a trial size. Every penny counts.

Apologies to Van Morrison

"It's as cold as Two Below Honey"

Man it's cold outside! And the forcast is dismal.

My Baby

A text from daycare today:

"Owen just woke up from his nap with a dry pull up and asked to go pee...his undies have been dry all day."

More reason for rejoicing at Chez Goose!

Moms of the Blogosphere - I Need Your Ideas!

Bii is turning 5 next month. Gasp

The kid is beyond excited about everything this milestone will reveal: Kindergarten, new friends, organized activities he can finally participate in. And, of course, the actual BIRTHDAY PARTY itself. Oh wait. That might be all he's anticipating.

I might actually have to change his name to Martha because he has already started planning the party and all the things he and his friends will do, eat, play - or more likely what his friends will bring him. (How did I raise a greedy child?)

The problem is, his birthday is at the end of February. And we live in Maine. It's damn cold out there. Why couldn't he have been a summer baby? Then we could just go to the beach!! (Oh, wait, that's my fault for PLANNING a February baby. Idiot. Must learn to think things through!)

Our house is too tiny for his small army of pals. I despise Chuck E. Cheezit (as Bii calls him) and all of the other organized birthday party ideas cost a small fortune. The Planetarium sounds like a cool idea (for me anyway) but he's never been and then there's the added frustration of coordinating food, drinks etc that they don't provide. We did a bowling party last year and it was terrific. But we can't do that again. There's an indoor play place but it's nearly $20 a kid. Renting a hall and a magician just doesn't seem like enough. sigh

Even though I'm sure he won't remember it as an adult, I long for him to have a memorable and unique 5th birthday party. (Yeah, I'm an overachiever) I need your help, oh creative blog friends. Do any of you have any ideas for a party for my nearly 5 year old baby?!?

I'll go sob now while I wait for you geniuses to save my ass. Oh, and thank you in advance.

Hallelujah!

I've never been so happy to see my dear Aunt Flo! Blessed be Mother Nature and the release she has brought to me today!!! My monthly "gift" arrived and I now understand what the hell has been going on inside my brain for the better part of two weeks!!

I feel like a new person and know that I'm not going completely insane.

Funny how these cycles elude you when you're not keeping track.

Hallelujah!!