15 January 2010

Seriously?

I hate salespeople.

Sorry if that's what you do for a living, but I've had too many bad experiences with people trying to sell me shit I don't need. My problem is I'm gullible. (really, look it up in the dictionary and you'll see my picture.) If you tell me my car needs 4 new tires who am I to question it? You're the expert right? You wouldn't steer me wrong would you?

Oh wait? You work on commission? My bad.

Anyway, back to my point. I recently changed dentists because my old, beloved, doctor was too far across town and it was no longer convenient. I chose a new office close to my work. I was pretty impressed with the fact that they had all the latest, greatest technology. Cool! What I didn't take in to consideration was the fact that someone has to pay for these fancy machines.

Namely: Me

"Have you ever had your teeth professionally whitened? ($400) You might need two sessions. You really should consider replacing your silver fillings. ($200 each) Hmmm, this crown might need some work.($1200)"

Uh, I've got two kids in daycare...

"We carry the professional variety of sensitive toothpaste.($50) The store brand doesn't work.($3) A custom night guard will be necessary if you continue to grind your teeth ($500)"

Why don't you just take one of my kidneys?

All this from the hygienist.

To be fair, some of these services will probably be needed some time down the road. But I came in for a cleaning. I explained to the gal that I really am not in a position to spend money unless it's absolutely necessary. So, please, stop trying to sell me dentistry.

When she was finished with the cleaning I sat, admiring my pearly yellows while waiting for the Dentist to come do his two minute check of the hygienist's work. He did the obligatory poke and peak and mater-of-factly said...

"Have you ever considered braces?"

Seriously? My teeth are NOT that crooked. In fact, they're pretty damn straight considering I sucked my thumb until I was 12.


Did I mention I'm changing dentists?

9 comments:

Trisha said...

At least they didn't tell you that you needed a surgery to make your tongue narrower! I tried a dentist a couple times when I first moved to Texas and each time he saw me he spent long minutes telling me about this operation where they take a wedge out of your tongue. It scared me so much I never went back! Change dentists!

noble pig said...

This made me laugh so hard you have no idea and Trisha's comment was the icing on the cake.

FishermansDaughter said...

I've had the same prob (from $50 toothpaste to unnecessary crowns) with dentists! Like we need more reasons to add to the already heavy hateration?! BTW your teeth look FAB!

ChristineM said...

Oh my gosh...I've been putting off going to the dentist. Now I'm just not gonna go! ;)

carsick said...

Your teethe look fine!
We go in Portlan. 1330 Dental Center. We LOVE them! (I must to drive an 1 hour and 20 minutes each way to see them)
I want to see Trisha's tongue....

carsick said...

teeth, i can't spell

Kelly said...

Holy crap! This totally happened to me. I was told by my lovely, reasonable dentist that braces might improve my bite and yada yada yada... The ortho I went to tried to sell me a whole new face, I swear. When I asked if the braces might improve my bite and therefore relieve me of tension headaches, he tried to distract me with a sample of the Invisalign braces. Then he left me alone with the "customer care " lady who was really just a highly trained assassin, er salesperson. I'm going to stick with my free teeth, thank you very much.

Kim said...

So glad you are back!

But, yeah, definitely change dentists! Geesh!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Oh lord...

{white strips actually work, fyi]