Mama Goose

Around the World in a Minute

2011-08-05T10:03:00.006-04:00

A trip of a lifetime.

I really got choked up watching these videos. They are a result of a project from director Rick Mereki, director/producer Tim White, and actor Andrew Lees as they traveled through 11 countries in a little more than a month. 38,000 miles later they have produced three videos telling of their experiences.

I was fortunate to travel to South East Asia for a few months after college. It was certainly a trip of a lifetime for me. Even though I wished I could have kept going, I felt an obligation to come home. I don't know why. I was young, able and had no real commitments. Now that I'm older and have many real obligations and commitments, I fear I will never see and experience parts of the world I dreamed of going to.

So for now, these will have to do. What an amazing trip this must have been. I'm so thankful I stumbled on these beautiful and inspiring videos. Hopefully, the world will some day welcome my boys when they are ready to venture out and experience what I have missed.

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

EAT from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

Never Too Sleepy for Sports

2011-06-16T10:35:00.003-04:00

We've been battling with night time potty training for some time now. It's really become an onus for me, because I'm the one who has to wake Bii up and drag his fanny in to our bathroom a couple of times a night. Like his Daddy-O, he's an incredibly sound sleeper and he just can't wake himself up when he needs to "go". Our pediatrician assures us this is normal and tells us not to worry; he'll out grow it in time. (Daddy-O had issues until he was 10 or so... sigh)

The trips to the bathroom are particularly funny though. He is most asleep on our first trip somewhere around 10:00 pm. He trips and stumbles as I waddle behind him, holding him up and steering him away from the trash can and to the actual potty. Occasionally, while sound asleep, he'll catch an invisible pop-fly and throw the ball to first to complete the double play. Sometimes he'll talk to me: "Did you see my touchdown pass Mama?"

I was watching the Stanley Cup Final in our bedroom last night before bed. When I got up and hauled his sleepy butt in to our room, he walked past the television and without skipping a beat said, "Hey look Mama! The Bruins are up 3 to nothing!"

The kid eats, sleeps and pees sports.

Stop This (Fing) Ride - I Want to Get (The F) Off!

2011-04-07T10:04:00.006-04:00

Lately, we've been on a roller coaster ride. An old, unstable, wooden monstrosity that feels like it's going to come tumbling down any minute and crush us. Perhaps a bit over-dramatic, but I don't deal well with things I have no control over.

Daddy-O has been (somewhat) silently suffering with hip pain for, get this, TWO months. He finally agreed to see this doctor - who suggested and x-ray. Low and behold, the x-ray showed some concerning "lesions" in his hip joint. Up next: a CT scan, but not before a looooong-ass weekend of worry. Scan complete, and we wait two days for the call. I'd like to point out that Google is not always your friend when you have too much time to kill with an uncertain diagnosis. The unspoken C-Word loomed heavily in our house like a mustard gas. Long story, short; it's not cancer. But it's really not all that much better. He's got some pretty serious shit going on in his joint and he meets today with an Ortho-pod who will, hopefully, have a good plan for reducing his pain. But it looks like joint replacement is in my Love's future. (He's pretty pumped though, about some day being known as The Bionic Dan! At least his sense of humor hasn't dulled.)

On top of this, Daddy-O's work environment sucks. He can barely make it to work without throwing up. Will he have a job today? The stress is too much - especially for someone whose tolerance is already being tested. There's an atmosphere of dread and doom: One false move and you're history. Nice environment.

To add to all of this, Tuesday was the anniversary of my mother's death. It's only a day, but it was the worst day of my life. It gets me every time. Sucks me in and drags me down; Chews me up and spits me out. God, I miss that woman.

I'm a big girl. I can handle it. I know there are others out there who have it SO much harder than we do. I count our blessings every day. I just need to bitch and groan sometimes and today's the day. Sorry. But thanks for "listening".

xo

Snort

2011-02-09T13:08:00.001-05:00

From The Queensland, Australia newspaper The Morning Bulletin

It's The Little Things...

2011-02-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

1.) Two dry little boys this morning = no sheets to wash

2.) Sun, sun and more sun with promises of temperatures near 40 tomorrow

3.) Free museum night

4.) A perfectly ripe avocado for breakfast

Counting my blessings and praying my husband can find something positive in his day too...

SnOMG!

2011-02-02T10:26:00.001-05:00

Super Cool

2011-01-19T11:58:00.001-05:00

And Unto Us...

2010-12-02T09:30:00.003-05:00

...a snausage was born?

funny or sacrilege? Happy Holidays Ya'll!

Partly Cloudy

2010-10-26T10:22:00.012-04:00

He limped in the room, clearly upset. One moment ago he and his brother were playing (nicely!!) in the living room. In the blink of an eye he was crumpled and distraught.

“Mama, I don’t want to go to school tomorrow…”

He dove in to my bosom, sobbing.

“What is it Goose? What’s going on?”

Tomorrow is Tuesday and that means Gym Day. I don’t get it. He’s the most active kid I know. He loves every sport and is particularly good at them. He wakes in the morning asking if we recorded last night’s game. The minute we get home from school he asks if he and Daddy-O can throw the football. He's non-stop.

But he doesn’t like Gym.

He insists that nothing’s wrong. He just wants a day at home with Mama.

We get down on the floor and talk a bit and it becomes a little clearer; they play a lot of tag in gym (he’s SO outgrown tag) and he really doesn’t like running the obstacle course…

“You know Goose, there are a lot of things we don’t always like to do, but we have to do them anyway. I don’t like to have to do the dishes every day, but I have to or we'd get sick. I don’t always like to do the laundry, but then you’d be the stinky kid no one wants to play with. (tiny giggle) And you might not enjoy running the obstacle course, but you know what? It may not seem like it now, but it’s getting you conditioned to be an even better football player.”

“Really?” He perked up a bit.

“Of course! You know how you have to make quick decisions on which way to move your body? It's just like the Running Backs you’ve been reading about. They have to be able to move fast and change direction in a split second. If they weren't able to move so fast, they wouldn't be so important to the team.”

After reading another chapter of his Football library book with Daddy-O, he snuggled up and slept soundly.

This morning he woke with his usual excitement. Our little talk last night seemingly cleared the partly cloudy outlook he had forecast for today.

“Can we go to school yet Mama?”

“Soon Goose. Soon. Let's have some breakfast so you have lot's of energy for the day.”

"OK!"

This kid really is pure sunshine.

Morning Ritual

2010-08-06T08:00:00.001-04:00

We've had a morning routine going for a couple of years now.

We get ready to go, brush up, hugs and kisses all around. The boys strap in to the car and roll the windows down. Daddy-O stands on the front stoop and waves good-bye.

From the back seat they call...

Olii: "Daddy, there's a skunk on your head!!"

Daddy-O feigns shock and horror, hands on head, shaking about...

Bii: "Dad! There's an alligator in your pants!!"

Daddy-O does a frightened, over the top dance trying to find said alligator...

Sometimes multiple rounds ensue until we drive off. Big grins all around.

A similar chorus began as we pulled out the driveway this morning, but ended with an extra bonus:

Bii: "That never gets old"

You're right Goose, it doesn't.

More Outta the Mouths of Babes...

2010-08-03T08:09:00.002-04:00

"Mama, how many more goodness does it take to earn those Zhu-Zhu pets?"

His Idea of Heaven

2010-08-02T12:56:00.000-04:00

At the grocery store together, Bii noticed I was buying two different kinds of potatoes. Curious, he asked why. I told him one was a white potato that I would use for a salad and the other was a baking potato.

"Oh Man!! A BACON potato!?!"

Another Day In Paradise

2010-06-21T08:07:00.004-04:00

God, we're lucky to live in Maine. And even luckier to have a boat!

We didn't get stranded at the Fort this time. DaddyO dropped us at the beach and the boys and I explored while DaddyO tried, but didn't catch fish. He did pick some lovely fresh mussels which we brought home and steamed. Yum. It was a perfect summer day and it wasn't even officially summer yet.

Bii starts round one of summer camps today, the official start of summer. Happy Solstice!!

Really?

2010-06-15T10:00:00.000-04:00

Kindergarten graduate? Say it ain't so Baby.

Congratulations Big Guy. We're so proud of you!

Awesome Romance

2010-06-09T16:16:00.004-04:00

This totally makes me smile...

And this song has been stuck in my head for weeks now... and it's SO awesome!!!!

Transported

2010-06-02T11:36:00.008-04:00

I've been caught up in too many thoughts lately. Too much going on. Too much stress. Too much negative crap clouding my way...

Driving home from work yesterday (in the million dollar car...) I found myself lost in thought again. It was a very strange afternoon: Dark rain clouds combined with the ever present Quebecois fire smog created a surreality I only wish I could paint. My mind wandered as I entered a hazy section of the road.

As I came through it, a cool breeze blew through my open window clearing the fog in the air and my head. I gripped the wheel and for a moment found myself transported to Route 73 North on the approach to my home town. The roads were wet from a sudden downpour and I swerved to avoid the frogs that were ever present in the road after a storm. A simpler time. A beautiful place. A ride home to sit on the porch and talk with my mother and watch the clouds lift up over the mountains.

And as fast as it came, it was gone. I wasn't in New York. I was on my way back to reality. But that short trip soothed my soul and gave me strength to move forward again.

Mama's Little Helper(s)

2010-06-01T11:21:00.000-04:00

O-Wine

The Rock and The Effing Hard Ass Place

2010-05-17T13:06:00.003-04:00

I knew the situation was bad when Daddy-O called and said, "Look, I really need for you to hold it together and not cry this time. We have to make a decision".

I've been crying non-stop for over a week now.

Screwed. That's what we are. My car had a major problem that the dealer "repaired" last September, but it broke again.

Well, thank our lucky stars the parts are covered under warranty! Yep, that's roughly $7.95 of that $1030.81 bill.

The new fix is going to cost about $4K.

We've been battling with the dealer and the manufacturer all week but they keep pointing the finger back at us.

I've been driving a rental all week while we try to sort out the options (Fix? Trade? Torch? Seriously, if I wasn't such a "good girl" we would set the damn thing on fire.)

It doesn't make sense to trade it (they wouldn't give us what we owe on it anyway) and then have a new - higher - car loan on another used car.

Looks like we'll be investing in a shiny new engine for this lovely piece of shit. (Oh yay! More credit card debt!!)

I'm usually a "count your blessings" kind of gal. This one has really worn me down. But I'm not out. Yet.

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

2010-04-28T15:00:00.000-04:00

While enjoying a lazy Sunday morning snuggle in bed with the boys, the conversation drifted from yawns, to snakes, to trips to the beach, to family, to life, to death, to Mema.

We talked about how even though my mother is in Heaven, she is always with us.

As he curled up in the crook of my arm and draped a leg over me, Owen looked up, so innocent...

Owen: Mama, is Mema in your belly?

Mama: No Silly, she's in my heart.

Owen: No Mama, I think she's in your belly. That's why it's so big!

Off to the treadmill for Mama...

It's Time

2010-04-05T16:17:00.003-04:00

You'd want me to be stronger by now. But even after 5 years, the pain is still so strong. But it's time though. I promise you I will be stronger from this point forward. I love you and miss you every day.

Six

2010-02-26T08:30:00.002-05:00

How does this keep happening? You're another year older. Another inch taller and another mile deeper in my heart. (Is that even possible?)

You love it when I tell you stories of how you came racing in to this world, so full of excitement and happiness. I swear you were smiling from the moment you took your first breath.

You wake each day raring to go! "Let's get this party started!" seems to be your motto.

I looked at you this morning, like I do most mornings, and tried to understand where the time has gone. Where has my precious baby gone?

As new parents, we are warned that time will go by faster than you could ever imagine. As cliche as it sounds, it's true. Too true...

While waiting for the bus today, I asked you not to wish for time to pass too quickly. You promised.

Though I know you will wish some of it to speed up, as we all do at times, I hope that you will savor your youth and suck as much juice from it as you can.

I know you will. You can't help it. It's in your DNA. It's how you roll. You're a juice on the chin kind of kid. And that makes me the happiest Mama on the face of the earth. Happy Birthday Goose! I love you. More than cheese.

One Cutie Deserves Another

2010-02-18T09:07:00.000-05:00

Last week O said he wanted to dress like DaddyO on casual Friday. So he pulled out his "handsome" shirt and blue jeans:

Be still my heart.

If I have a blog, but don't post, does it still exist?

2010-02-17T12:04:00.004-05:00

In other events, the Tooth Fairy has now visited us. Twice. Of course, being the half-assed mother that I am, I only have a picture of the first tooth:

Nothing Says Love...

2010-02-07T17:06:00.001-05:00

...Like homemade bread. Mmmmmm.

Seriously?

2010-01-15T08:00:00.004-05:00

I hate salespeople.

Sorry if that's what you do for a living, but I've had too many bad experiences with people trying to sell me shit I don't need. My problem is I'm gullible. (really, look it up in the dictionary and you'll see my picture.) If you tell me my car needs 4 new tires who am I to question it? You're the expert right? You wouldn't steer me wrong would you?

Oh wait? You work on commission? My bad.

Anyway, back to my point. I recently changed dentists because my old, beloved, doctor was too far across town and it was no longer convenient. I chose a new office close to my work. I was pretty impressed with the fact that they had all the latest, greatest technology. Cool! What I didn't take in to consideration was the fact that someone has to pay for these fancy machines.

Namely: Me

"Have you ever had your teeth professionally whitened? ($400) You might need two sessions. You really should consider replacing your silver fillings. ($200 each) Hmmm, this crown might need some work.($1200)"

Uh, I've got two kids in daycare...

"We carry the professional variety of sensitive toothpaste.($50) The store brand doesn't work.($3) A custom night guard will be necessary if you continue to grind your teeth ($500)"

Why don't you just take one of my kidneys?

All this from the hygienist.

To be fair, some of these services will probably be needed some time down the road. But I came in for a cleaning. I explained to the gal that I really am not in a position to spend money unless it's absolutely necessary. So, please, stop trying to sell me dentistry.

When she was finished with the cleaning I sat, admiring my pearly yellows while waiting for the Dentist to come do his two minute check of the hygienist's work. He did the obligatory poke and peak and mater-of-factly said...

"Have you ever considered braces?"

Seriously? My teeth are NOT that crooked. In fact, they're pretty damn straight considering I sucked my thumb until I was 12.

Did I mention I'm changing dentists?

Yeah, I'm Like That

2010-01-14T11:27:00.003-05:00

I'm a bit of a worrier. On top of that, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. Not a good pairing, those.

I've put off going for my annual medical exam because my cholesterol was up last time and I haven't been consistent about diet and exercise and pretty much knew my levels would still be high. (If I ignore it, it will go away right?) But recently I've been suffering some odd arm pain and thought it was time to get my act together and make an appointment.

So, in November I dragged my fanny to see my doctor. "Not sure what the arm pain is, but let's try some Advil. Your cholesterol is still high. Get back on the treadmill. Yada, yada, yada...your vitamin D is low, here's a supplement. Your liver enzymes came back elevated let's check again in a month."

WHA? Oh shit!? My liver? What does that mean? OMG, I'm dying!

I don't do well with a health scare. So I fretted, and worried and lost sleep. I changed my eating and drinking habits, fretted some more, but pretty much convinced myself I could "fix" this myself. One month later I went back for a re-check.

WTF? Still elevated?!? I need an ultrasound of my liver? What are you saying? Holy, effing shit what does this mean? OMG, I have cancer and I'm dying?!?

NO. (sorry if I got all worked up there. It's my hypochondria and I'll freak out if I want to.)

Long story short, I had the ultrasound on Monday. I had more blood tests. I called my doctor's office no less than 15 times and, low and behold, I'M FINE. I need to lose some weight (shocker) and get back on track with my exercise (tell me something I don't know) and - get this - STOP WORRYING.

I guess it's a good thing that I also bit a different bullet and finally made an appointment with a therapist.

Rules For Being Human

2010-01-12T12:29:00.008-05:00

My sister sent this to me today. I love it almost as much as I love her. Good stuff.

Rules for Being Human

1.) You Will Receive A Body - You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2.) You Will Learn Lessons - You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons - you may like the lesson or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3.) There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons - There is a process of trial and error; experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately 'works'.

4.) A Lesson Is Repeated Until It Is Learned - A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5.) Learning Lessons Does Not End - There is no part of Life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6.) 'There' Is No Better Than 'Here' - When your 'there' has become a 'here', you will simply obtain another 'there' that will again look better than 'here'.

7.) Others Are Merely Mirrors Of You - You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8.) What You Make Of Your Life Is Up To You - You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9.) Your Answers Lie Inside You - The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need do is look, listen and trust.

10.) You Will Forget All This.

11.) You Can Remember It Whenever You Want

Thank you Kate. I love you more than cheese.

ARGH!

2009-11-05T14:09:00.001-05:00

Sabotaged by PMS... sigh. ("Oh, hello cookie, you look lonely...") I will get on the treadmill tonight - even if for 10 minutes - to see if I can kick that evil beyotch where she belongs.

Words of Wisdom

2009-10-16T10:46:00.005-04:00

Finn, this morning, witnessed me struggling with something:

"Um, Mama? Sometimes you have to look deep within yourself to solve your problems. Maybe you should do that."

"Wow. How'd you get so smart?" I said stealing a huge hug from my incredibly wise 5 year old...

"SpongeBob, Mama."

Well, there you have it folks: Eternal wisdom from within a pineapple under the sea.

Seriously?

2009-09-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

$40 dollars for a Halloween costume?

And a Woopie Cushion no less

It has gotten out of control...

Though this one is pretty freakin' awesome!

But I mean seriously??... $85 dollars for a Teddy Roosevelt costume?

I have to say I'm pretty partial to the home made variety:

Finn - aka Bob the Builder 2007

This costume was very simple and fun to make - despite the fact that I stayed up past midnight coloring in the white checks on the shirt. ("Mama, Bob's shirt isn't red and white!! It's red and orange!!!" He cried at 7 pm the night before Halloween..)

October brings a lot of excitement for my kids. The planning has begun. Now I just have to figure out how to do this...

Avatar Aang. the Last Airbender

I've got 30 days...
Wish me luck.

More Proof Mama Needs to Censor Herself

2009-09-29T13:17:00.003-04:00

Overheard from the kitchen yesterday when I thought the boys were nicely playing trucks together...

O: "No, Bii! That MY fruck! Give back MY fruck!!"

F: "Oh for the love of God brother. Just chill!"

Mama: "Now where on earth would he pick that up?"

Oops... Bad Mama.

Twisted

2009-09-23T13:34:00.004-04:00

Perfect representation for how I'm feeling...

If You're Happy and You Know it...

2009-09-09T14:32:00.003-04:00

I'm down, but not out. I've had to remind myself lately how truly blessed I am.

With these two at the helm it's really not that difficult to remember...

More soon.

Patooties

2009-08-28T10:14:00.004-04:00

My sister-in-law (#3-of-5) is an amazing photographer. She has a knack for bringing out the best in people (and not just with her camera). When we visited last weekend she took some wonderful shots of the boys. This one, though silly, really captures them well. My two goofballs. Oh how I love them so.

Motivation (Or lack there of...)

2009-08-25T13:00:00.001-04:00

I have none.

I don't want to work, or cook, or clean or read or... well, pretty much anything.

I need a vacation.

From everything.

Change of Plans

2009-08-18T12:00:00.001-04:00

Saturday was a glorious day and we were going to make the most of it.

We set out early with a plan: On the boat at 9:00. Head out to Fort Gorges to explore for an hour or so, then get back on the boat, fish a little; find a sandy beach to romp on, have lunch, swim and head home before it gets too hot. Perfect!

9:15 arrival at Fort. Picture perfect morning.

We anchored and set out to explore:

Fort Gorges is a very cool place in the middle of Casco Bay. The boys love it.

We found new nooks and crannies and spent quite a bit of time looking around.

Finally deciding to move on with our day...

When...

Umm... Houston?

We have a problem...

When the tide goes out, leaving you marooned, there's nothing you can do but make the most of what you've got and wait it out until it comes back.

Six.Hours.Later.

so

we

did

This is what makes my boat float.

Thank God we were prepared. We had sunscreen, snacks and lunch and shovels and pails and a cooler full of cold beer. What more could anyone need?

I Can

2009-08-11T13:30:00.000-04:00

I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep.

I’m wrestling with too much right now.

Change is in the air and I really don’t do too well with change. I’m a Virgo, so I try to have everything in its place. I need to have control, but there are just too many unknowns right now and it’s driving me c r a z y.

It started with a little snowflake and now feels like an avalanche.

A friend passed away two weeks ago. She was only 32. My heart is broken for her and her family and her 18 month old son. My heart breaks for my boys because her twin sister is was the primary caregiver at their daycare and, as we suspected, is leaving our center to take over her sister’s daycare. R is the ~~only~~ main reason we are still where we are… I can keep them there, BUT:

Owen is supposed to start Preschool next month.

R was going to transport him and her son to and from this two hour, two day a week, not made for working mothers’ preschool and now it looks as though this won’t happen. I don’t want to pull him out. I can’t. He needs preschool. I think it would help his speech SO much. AND he’s been SO looking forward to it.

So I looked around and found another all day preschool that actually looks better and, if I enroll him full time, would be cheaper than the other two combined. BUT, if I remove him from our current daycare, I don’t think the owner will react very well. She’s a bit of a bwitch. We’re already cutting her paycheck significantly as next month Finn is starting Kindergarten and I really don’t have an alternative to his before and after care. I work from 8 – 5 and he doesn’t get on the bus until 8:45 and school ends at 3:00. Even though the owner is hardly ever at the daycare, I’m afraid she’ll make life very difficult for Finn – or tell us she can’t take one without the other. (Yeah, she’d do that)

On top of this dilemma I worry about Finn. I’m so excited for him to start school and be exposed to new things and people, BUT:

What classroom will he be in? Will he be okay on the bus? He’s staring school in a cast. Will the other children be nice to him? Will he be too much of a goof-ball? How will we juggle everything?

By the end of the day I am exhausted. I’m scared of things I don’t have ~~any~~ much control over. So I fall heavily in to bed and fall soundly asleep; for about an hour. Then the tick of the clock taunts me for the rest of the dark night…

Can someone please tell my brain to shut the hell up?!?

Writing this down helps. I re-read these words and it all seems so insignificant. I know we’ll manage, but I just want to do.the.right.thing. I’m so afraid of making a bad choice and then having to dig out of the deep hole.

I remind myself of what Goethe said, “Just trust yourself, and then you will know how to live.”

I must. I will.

I can.

Oops, He Did it Again...

2009-08-04T14:00:00.000-04:00

I am not kidding. Does this look like a kid who just learned he has to wear a cast for the last 6 weeks of the summer? I don't think he could possibly be happier about it. Me? Not so much.

We had an amazing Saturday. We got up early. Hooked up the boat and were on the ocean by 8:00. It was a glorious morning.

We were home by 1:00, had lunch and then went for a swim in the neighbor's pool (we're taking care of it this week while they're on vacation) and then in ours. (We like our little one better)

By 4:00 we were ready to go to friend's for a barbecue. We weren't there 5 minutes when I lost sight of the boys. I scanned the yard and spotted Finn sitting with his brother on the ground laughing. Oh, that's a nice I thought.

Wait! What? That's not a happy face! Oh sh*t!!!!!

When I reached him, it was clear from the tears streaming down his cheeks that he had fallen from the monkey bars. We got ice on his hand quickly, but when he refused a Freeze Pop from our host, I knew we were headed to the ER.

So yes. The boy has fractured his wrist for the second time in less than a year. His doctor isn't concerned about a vitamin deficiency or anything worse. "He's an active young boy. Sh*t happens." (I love my pediatrician)

So what you can't tell from the picture is the orthopedics people (bless their hearts!) created a removable cast for him. They stressed that he can only take it off to swim and bathe, and he must be VERY careful. Thankfully, I saved his cast from last year so we'll put that on him when he wants to swim. I think his doctor will be pleased. Finn certainly is.

I'm just sad that he'll have to start Kindergarten with a cast on his arm. Way to get noticed kid.

My Thoughtful Yittle Fwiahman

2009-07-31T12:00:00.001-04:00

O: "Mama, me yike deese frackers.
Me bring come to da guys at the fwiah cation.
It's way, way far away.
Me need comting to dwive...
Maybe da pumper fwuck.
Yeah. Pumper fwucks good."

translation: Mama, me like these crackers. Me bring some to the guys at the fire station. It's way, way far away. Me need something to drive... Maybe the pumper truck. Yeah. Pumper truck's good." Indeed.

Recovery From a Full Weekend..

2009-07-20T15:03:00.003-04:00

From his Daycare provider:

"Finn has decided on the face plant sleeping position. A bold move for this veteran napper. Lets watch..."

Remembering Gaga

2009-07-18T07:00:00.001-04:00

My grandmother died 14 years ago at the ripe old age of 86. She was still very active and still driving - as scary as that really was. She was a wonderful woman. Very stoic and dry, she didn't show affection much but she had so many qualities that I loved.

She had an extremely interesting life and she loved to share her stories with me: Going to art school; adventures in cars in the years when driving 10 miles an hour was like riding a roller coaster; bathtub gin! I loved these times with her.

One of the things I loved most about my Gaga was her love of nature and plants. She taught me when to prune hydrangea and how to identify trillium and other forest flowers. We took long walks whenever we were together - which sadly wasn't that often. She was very much involved in conservation and, in fact, had driven herself to a conference where she had the stroke that would, two weeks later, take her life.

After she died, my sister and I went to her home to help clean out some of her stuff. The things that were most meaningful to me were her plants. K and I took several. She a beautiful Jade, me a happy Christmas Cactus. We both took clippings from a huge vine that nearly filled a large greenhouse window in her kitchen.

For years, this clipping didn't do much. I wondered why it was so special; why Gaga had loved this plant so much. The leaves were pretty. Waxy dark green. But beyond that? Meh.

Then one day about 10 years ago, I smelled this overwhelming sweet scent in my apartment. I searched high and low but couldn't figure out what it was. I kept sniffing around and finally found the source:

Gaga's Hoya had finally bloomed.

And now it blooms several times a year. It's prolific really. I have created multiple plants from this one clipping of hers. It is an honor and a privilege to be one of the keepers of this amazing plant. And every time I smell that wonderful scent and see the beautiful blooms, I remember her.

She would have been 100 today. Happy Birthday Gaga. I miss you.

Company Coming...

2009-07-17T08:57:00.007-04:00

Scrambling.

No time.

Company coming.

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning... (Thanks for the help Rolf and Sven!)

Clutter. Laundry. Mirrors. Toys.

Scrubbing bathrooms. (Oh! To be the only woman in a three man house...)

Scrambling after a long day at work.

Madness. But it's finally done. Time for a well earned glass of wine...

Bii: Mama, the house looks really good now. It hasn't looked this good in 10 years.

At least I'm not the only one who notices...

I Ain't Got Much

2009-07-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

'Cept these two, cute, happy the sun is finally out again, boys...

Hope you're all enjoying the weather...

Housekeeper

2009-07-09T08:00:00.002-04:00

I did it.

I hired a housekeeper.

I've dreamed of this moment for a long time.

Now mind you, he's not exactly what I envisioned:

6'2"

Blond hair

Blue eyes

Doesn't speak a lick of English...

Nope.

He's not even Swedish.

In fact, he was born in Massachusetts.

But I think he'll do.

Everyone: Meet Rolf

Rolf Roomba

He's the new love of my life.

Right up there with our other hired hand, Sven.

Wardrobe Wednesday

2009-07-08T10:00:00.005-04:00

It's an oldie but a goodie. I love how he looks kind of horrified to be dressed like this. Oh, what we do to our children. Thankfully he'll have no memories of this...

Go join the fun at Heathen Family Revival

Finally!

2009-07-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

Despite the lousy cellphone camera picture, we had an absolutely lovely day out on the ocean. It's scheduled to start raining again any minute...

I'm Done

2009-07-02T09:48:00.003-04:00

That's it. I can't take the rain any more. I have reached the breaking point. I'm going to have a margarita. right. now.

Wardrobe Wednesday

2009-07-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

"Rescue Hero"

He Was. Really.

2009-06-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

"Mama, I was born to eat this!"

Please Don't Ask How My Children Are

2009-06-26T09:00:00.000-04:00

I swear I'm never talking about my children at work again.

Yesterday, a cow-orker asked how the boys were (they were fine).

This morning? Finn is throwing up.

EVERY time someone asks, one of them comes down with something.

I'm praying Owen is spared this time around.

Facebook Flashback

2009-06-24T11:49:00.005-04:00

Facebook is freaking me out. Seriously.

In the last 6 months I have gotten back in touch with so many people I thought I would never talk to again.

Most of it is really good. Freaky but good.

So many things I thought (hoped?) I'd forgotten have come full circle. It's strange to reminisce with these people who, now, are essentially strangers.

And today? An old high school flame appears.

What's freakier? He works less than a mile away from me. (I guess that may not seem strange to some, but we went to school in Massachusetts and now live in Maine. Tinytown USA)

We're having lunch on Friday. Weird.

Signs Your Children Are Watching Too Much TV

2009-06-23T08:30:00.001-04:00

"Mama! You know what you need? OxiClean!"

"Mama! When can we go to Atlantis?"

"No really? When can we go?"

Yep. That's what advertising is all about.

7 Years

2009-06-22T15:30:00.000-04:00

Thank you for making me the happiest woman on earth.
Happy Anniversary my love.

Hiatus

2009-06-03T11:45:00.002-04:00

Work is getting in the way of my free time. Having too much work is a good thing, no? But my brain is mush. I haven't had time to visit all my bloggy friends and I miss you all. I hope to see you all again very soon. Until then, be well.

Playing For Change

2009-05-27T08:00:00.005-04:00

This is one of the most moving things I have seen lately. This is the first of 8 (so far); Musicians from all over the world singing a song - together. The results are truly moving. Check it out.

Playing For Change

Memories

2009-05-18T10:30:00.000-04:00

While I was working at the computer yesterday, Finn discovered a box of photographs in the closet. He brought one to me and asked who it was. I told him and he sat there for a few moments and looked at my 17 year old face and that of my highschool friend Lexie. He put the picture back and then brought me another one. And another. And then the whole box.

He climbed up on my lap and for the next hour we went through that box of photos together.

"Is her name really Lizard, Mama?" "Why are you singing in to a hair dryer?" "That's the boy you had a crush on?" "What's a crush Mama?"

I had forgotten some of the names of the people in the box, but as we thumbed through them I started to put together some of the missing pieces. He enjoyed looking at those pictures with me as much as I loved reliving some wonderful youthful memories.

I wish I had a picture of the two of us together in that chair yesterday. That's a memory I'll never forget.

Protocol

2009-05-13T11:11:00.003-04:00

I need help. I’m still pretty new to this parenting thing and I’m even newer to the sport of socializing with other parents. I just don’t know how to do it.

Finn started playing T-Ball a few weeks ago. He LOVES it. He’s a natural. And he’s making all kinds of new friends. He has no fear of walking up to someone – anyone – and starting a conversation. He’s a natural at that too!

I’m sure most kids are like this when they’re young. At some point in our lives though, we become self conscious and, for a lot of people, talking to strangers and meeting new people becomes scary. OK, at least that happened to me.

I’ve come out of my shell a bit in my old age and I’m not as scared any more to strike up a conversation with someone I don’t know. Perhaps it’s that I have kids now and I feel like I have something to talk about. I’ve never been good at small talk but when there’s a common thread like my children involved, it’s a lot easier.

Now back to T-Ball. The first day was a Skills and Drills day. Basically just a chance to get together, meet the teammates and see what this thing called T-Ball was all about. All the parents were milling about and I took the opportunity to chat with a few of them. We exchanged our stories and our names and enjoyed a little barbeque with the kids after they were done with their drills. Fun!

Fast forward to the first game Two.Days.Later. I emphasize the time frame because really? I’m that forgettable? How can someone who I just had lunch with not recognize me less than 48 HOURS LATER? When I said hello to one of the mothers she barely acknowledged me. Same with another. I was so excited to meet some new people and my bubble was thoroughly burst.

So tell me: Am I naïve to think that a casual conversation and a common thread could lead to a (gasp) friendship? Do people not interact with other parents at these events? I don’t know what the proper protocol is in situations like these and I’m feeling very self conscious again…

Anticipation

2009-05-11T14:00:00.001-04:00

We have a new nightly activity at Chez Goose: Bat Watching

Just as the sun starts to go down, the boys start getting ready for bed knowing that the bats will soon make an appearance in our back yard. They get in their jammies (OK, truth is they've probably got in them 5 seconds after they got home. These kids love to be cozy!), brush up and run out on the deck taking their place next to each other on the picnic table. It's so cute to see how excited they get waiting for them.

Here they come Mama!

Wardrobe Wednesday

2009-05-06T08:00:00.002-04:00

He's definitely going to be a performer...

I Heart Faces!

2009-05-05T12:00:00.000-04:00

What a fun idea! I've been looking at these for a while, but never had a shot I liked enough to enter. Now I do. Check out IHeartFaces.com and enter yourself!

Here's my entry:

Great Moments in Parenting

2009-05-04T09:20:00.000-04:00

Hey boys, wanna play in the dirt? Here are some really sharp, dirty and dangerous garden tools! You just go play over there where Daddy-O can't see you while Mama goes to the grocery store! Now, no fighting! Have fun! I'll be back soon!

Less than 10 minutes later...Ring, ring...

Hi Daddy-O. What's up? What? OMG!!! He's bleeding?! Does he need stitches?!?!

I don't think Owen intentionally struck Finn on the top of his head with the garden rake, but then again, no one witnessed it.

So, yeah, we're great parents.

PS: He's fine and did not need to go to the hospital...

Hooray Hooray

2009-05-01T09:20:00.004-04:00

Hooray, hooray! The first of May... I can still hear her.

This is how it started. A little tribute to my mother. A blank page where I hoped to voice my grief that she was gone to hopefully pull me from the black hole that I was in. I wasn't sure if it would help, but it has. Tremendously.

I can hardly believe it but it's been one year since I started this little blogging journey. I want to extend a huge thank you to all of the people I have "met" out here. It's the strangest thing. I'm not really all that surprised by it any more; and I know all of you share the same feeling: I've made so many new friends out here. Some of you I'll never meet face to face, others I hope to meet soon. (Melissa, when are we meeting for martinis?) You have all had an impact on my life. Though I didn't know it when I started, you're the reason I'm here. You've listened to me bitch and whine; cry and celebrate. You've offered acceptance, support and advice and helped me through many a difficult moment. Thank you for your shoulders, your pats on the back and, most importantly, the kicks in the ass. It's incredibly powerful, this sisterhood. It's so nice to know I'm not on this journey alone.

Happy First of May everyone.

I Scream, You Scream

2009-04-29T14:36:00.002-04:00

We All Scream For Ice Cream!!

Damn cell phone camera! It really is a cute picture even if you can't see it very well...

Be Here Now

2009-04-28T12:56:00.002-04:00

If you don't know Ray, you should.

Be Here Now - Ray Lamontagne

Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Boys

2009-04-27T15:27:00.007-04:00

We had a lot of outdoor activities this weekend, the most exciting being Finn’s first exposure to being a part of a team. T-Ball practice was a hit! New friends! New skills! New fun! What more could a 5 year old want? Oh yeah, McDonald's. (Don’t judge)

Daddy-O also had big outdoor projects that involved a chainsaw so, needless to say, the boys spent a lot of time with him in the back yard. I did a lot of hauling of future firewood and admiring of my very strong husband and loud tool smitten boys.

Yesterday I had a bit of a breather from firewood duty and moved on to household chores. From the quiet of my kitchen I folded laundry and occasionally sneaked a peek at my boys and their dad reveling in all things Boy. My heart stopped at least three times as I watched the boys slip from a tree branches. I recovered quickly enough when it became evident there were no broken bones.

Nothing, though, could reel me in from near panic as I caught a glimpse of Daddy-O, hands clenched to his chest, stumbling away from the downed tree. The look on his face was pained. He started to tumble and then fell to the ground. I raced out on the deck yelling What’s wrong!?! My heart raced. My throat tightened. Where was the phone? What do I do?!!? Oh my God, NO!

Daddy-O heard my panicked cries and jumped to his feet and Finn, who witnessed the whole thing, yelled to me: It’s okay Mama. I just shot Daddy with my laser gun!

As my heart leapt back in to my throat and I broke in to uncontrollable sobs, I heard Finn say to his father Dadda, we should probably warn Mama before we play guns, huh?

My husband, who can fake die like no other, held me long and hard and promised he would.

The Difference Between Men and Women

2009-04-23T09:48:00.002-04:00

Me: I really need to give the bathrooms a good scrubbing.

Daddy-O: Why?

Let's Count!

2009-04-21T08:46:00.001-04:00

O: “One, two, fwee, eight…”

Me: “Right. Three, four…”

O: “Four…”

Me: “Fi..”

O: “Fibe, kix, kebin…”

Me: “Good! Five six, seven…Eight…”

O: “Eight, nine, ten, lemon!!”

Me: “Nice job buddy!!”

Early Morning Conversation

2009-04-13T15:14:00.004-04:00

I felt his tiny, warm body sneak under the covers next to me. He settled in the crook of my arm and pulled my hand around his waist. He purred a simple contented sigh. We lay there for a few silent moments, enjoying the sound of each other's breath.

Mama? When will it be time to get up?

In a bit sweetie. It's a family day so we can stay in bed as long as we want. (I said hoping to stay in our warm nest the whole day...)

Another minute or two of rhythmic breathing passes. Then...

Mama? Can we get up now?

But why Goose? We don't have to go to school today. We don't have anywhere we need to be.

But Mama, there's so much excitement in the world! So many places to go and things to do. Can we please get up now?

Of course Lovey. Of course we can get up.

We're Off to Camp Grammy!

2009-04-10T06:13:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter and Passover everyone!

Wardrobe Wednesday

2009-04-08T11:40:00.004-04:00

Scaling the Castle Walls

The kid would live in his pajamas if I let him. Please, dear Lord, don't let him grow up to be the overweight dude in sweatpants at the mall...

4 Years

2009-04-05T08:00:00.005-04:00

White coral bells upon a slender stalk,

Lilies of the valley deck my garden walk.

Oh, don’t you wish that you could hear them ring?

That will happen only when the fairies sing.

We sang in round, my sister, my aunt and cousins together in that hospital room. Though she lay there so still, the ventilator having been removed, I'm certain she could hear us. It was as though we were singing her home; letting her know it was okay to go. And so she did.

I miss you Ma. Today and every day.

It Worked!!

2009-04-03T13:46:00.004-04:00

Well... Sorta. The Flu Bug Diet helped me lose 10% of Owen's weight! 3 lbs in a day probably isn't the most healthy weight loss plan but if it gives me a jump start I'll take it!

I'm feeling better now, but sadly my sister decided she and her family would postpone their trip. What? Driving 6+ hours with the possibility of vommiting children (or worse, HUSBAND) isn't her kind of fun? Love ya K. Can't wait to see you.

When It Rains...

2009-04-02T14:25:00.001-04:00

Owen started throwing up Saturday morning. He finally stopped on Tuesday, but then came the dreaded diarrhea. He's back at school now but he's still so, so tired. He's lost 10% of his body weight in less than a week (3 lbs.) His little bones are poking out. Poor sweet boy.

And now... I have it. If only I could loose 10% of my body weight. Hmmmm...

Praying that Finn and Daddy-O are spared and that we don't infect my sister and her family who come to visit tomorrow (YAY!!!!)

Thankfully the weather is cooperating now and I can open the windows and let the breeze carry the yuck away.

Wordless/Wardrobe Wednesday

2009-03-25T12:19:00.003-04:00

King Of The Castle

The Last Snowman in Maine

2009-03-23T08:00:00.001-04:00

At least I effin hope so!

We've been in a bit of a dinner rut of late so we decided to shake things up a bit.

The boys helped me make these the other night:

Mini burgers topped with mashed potatoes with corn and strawberry embelishments.

They thought it was pretty cool.

What Everyone Needs

2009-03-20T08:00:00.003-04:00

A swing in their kitchen.

We put this up when our addition was just a shell. It never came down. Daddy-O has made several variations of swinging apparatus. The trapeze bar is the current favorite, but the plastic baby swing is the all time classic. They both still fit in it and they're less likely to fall on their heads, so it's tops on my list for good clean fun.

I highly recommend adding a swing in your house.

Why is it Always the Boys...

2009-03-19T13:55:00.004-04:00

...who get the incredible lashes?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-18T09:27:00.004-04:00

Spring Planting

Either You Are, or You Aren't

2009-03-17T08:00:00.001-04:00

I don't think there's a food I don't like. With the exception of a textural issue with eggplant, I pretty much like everything. Daddy-O, on the other hand, is Mr. Meat and Potatoes picky with a sensitive Irish Catholic stomach to boot. I often go to bed thinking about what I'll get to eat tomorrow; he often forgets to eat at all. (FORGET to eat? Wha?)

Our boys are beginning to show their leanings on the food front:

Sunday morning the boys were busy playing in the living room when I decided to I make myself an egg and toast. O, sensing there was food somewhere in his proximity, abandoned his Lego's post haste and came sniffing to the stove.

He sat on my lap and we traded bites, but as usual he ended up eating most of the plate. When it was gone he pleaded for more. So back to the stove I went to produce a second helping.

Meanwhile, Bii wandered in to the kitchen looking for his playmate. I asked him if he'd like to join us for breakfast. He wasn't interested.

Me: Bii, you really need to have something to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day...(yada, yada, yada)

Bii: Yeah, Mama. But I'm just really not a breakfast kinda guy.

Yep. He's definitely his father's son.

Hello Cutie

2009-03-16T14:47:00.005-04:00

I have never been more ready for spring. And yet...

Illustration credit Steven Felmore

I have never been more sad to see these cuties go...

The Times. They've Changed.

2009-03-12T15:30:00.001-04:00

Typical toy in the '70's:

Fast forward to the '00's:

This arrived on our doorstep yesterday

Simple. Sturdy.

A blank canvas, ready to be customized with markers or paint.

And when they finally trash it, it's completely recyclable. My kind of toy. Thanks Mark.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2009-03-11T11:11:00.002-04:00

Wow. Some of this is spot on. Other's not so much, but interesting just the same... How 'bout you?

You Are Dreamy and Distracted
You are very intuitive and wise.
You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination.
You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy.
You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are friendly, charming, and warm.
You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat.
Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible.
But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting.
You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2009-03-10T15:15:00.001-04:00

Wow. I received an award! Known as the Smoking Typewriter Award, my friend WhoSheShe bestowed this upon me! She’s the writer I wish I could be ~ she often says what I struggle every day to get out in a coherent form... Thanks woman!
Here are the rules:

• Post the picture of the award (Got it!)
• Link back to the blogger who awarded me (Ay-uh)
• Google my name and share the results (With an unusual name, I expected this to produce something a bit more interesting, but no. So I changed this up just a bit and googled "Whenever Nell..." instead of just my name.)
• Share the love (Make your own spin on this if you like!)

1 - Whenever Nell went to visit her mother, she took the road that went into the village, and then turned and followed it south, towards the farmlands that filled the middle of Caragale and fed the capital. (I was never very good at following directions...)

2 - Whenever Nell stopped talking with an inside voice - which is more often than not - I felt like someone was just running their fingernails down a chalkboard. (Oh, that's nice.)

3 - How does Satam love so happily, whenever Nell judges the noisy onion very strangely? (Must ponder these noisy onions.)

4 - Whenever Nell's clothes got too small for her, Harv would pitch them into the deke bin and then have the M.C. make new ones. (Ha,ha, ha. Too small!)

5 - And whenever Nell stopped the duck, she planted herself on her belly, like you see Border Collie's do when herding sheep. (Yep. Control freak. That's me.)

So. There you go. I’m tagging some wonderful women and hope you’ll visit them too.

Cid

Natasha

Dysfunctional Housewife

Sunset Zaguán

Carsick in Kennebec

Hard to Believe...

2009-03-09T11:00:00.001-04:00

...I had laundry hanging on the line yesterday... sigh

Blah, Blah, Blah...

2009-03-02T08:50:00.002-05:00

So what else is new? Blah, blah and more blah.

Shopping List

2009-02-24T10:37:00.002-05:00

Sweet Potatoes
Vinegar Chips
Raspberries

I wonder what he's making for dinner?

Good Deeds

2009-02-23T12:30:00.000-05:00

I manage the technology for a small Inbound Call Center. We have thousands of toll free numbers that ring in here at any given time depending on the promotions we're running. When a particular campaign has run its course, I send the phone numbers to an unmanned extension. The calls that ring to this line are mostly wrong numbers. But from time to time, when I have nothing better to do, I'll answer the line to see what the caller is looking for. Today was one of those days.

The first call I picked up was from a woman who was trying to contact Walgreen's prescription mail service in Florida. She told me she would try the number again. When I picked up her call the second time, she hung up on me. The third time, I offered to help her. The number she called was printed on an insert she received with her last mailing. She had tried to contact them via they're website but had been unsuccessful She had been on the phone for an hour trying to track down the right department and had been transferred too many times to people who couldn't help her. I looked up the information on-line for her and found a local number in Florida. She sighed. I realized that she'd have to pay for the local call, so I put her on hold and dialed it myself. When I got back on the line with her I gave her a toll free number that would get her to the right place. She told me she was amazed that I had gone out of my way to help a little old lady in Wisconsin who had hung up on me.

The second call I picked up was another older lady in Dayton Ohio trying to reach her Healthcare Advocate to see about getting a reduced price on her anti-depression medication. She doesn't have a computer so I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with her tracking down the correct number. I learned that she married young, had two children and then divorced. If she hadn't had her kids so early she supposes she would have gone to Woodstock. She's now living in "the most boring state in the nation" but has a boyfriend who takes her to interesting places. She surmises that they'd take more trips if she could actually stand him for more than a few days at a time. She'd like to get a computer but she's not sure she has the attention span to learn it - though there are lots of things she'd like to "Google". Turns out she had just transposed a digit when she dialed the phone number and got to me. I gave her the correct number and she told me how fortunate she was to have reached me today. I really wanted talk with her more.

Each of these anonymous women did me a good deed today. Their random interaction with me filled a little cranny in my soul that has needed nourishment. There is nothing more fulfilling than helping someone get what they need whether it be information or just an ear for a moment or two on a cold and lonely winter's day.

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

2009-02-20T07:00:00.009-05:00

Everything is a little rosier these days at Chez Goose! The days are longer, Spring if officially less than a month away and I'm getting a bit of a bounce back in my step.

The most wonderful thing though? Owen wakes up singing.

We've been planning for Finn's birthday next week and obviously Owen has picked up on it.

This morning as I lay in bed waiting for the alarm to go off I heard him stirring. I couldn't make out what he was saying so I rolled over and turned up the monitor.

Like the Hoos down in Hoo-ville, it started as a whisper but the song got louder and louder as the sun came up:

hoppy buwpee to bii, Hoppy Buwpee to Bii, Hoppy Buwpee to Bii,

HOPPY BUWRPEE TO BII!!!!!

I have to figure out how to download video from our camera because this kid? Stinking Cute!

What a way to start the day.

Sunny Side Up

2009-02-19T14:22:00.005-05:00

My mother was a Glass Half Full kind of person.

Despite some less than perfect hands she was dealt throughout her life, she always found the bright side of any given situation. I don't really know how she did it, but she always taught us to see the positive side of things too. She obviously did a good job as I've actually been accused of being too optimistic. I know that's kind of hard to believe after I've let my Dark Debbie side out a bit of late, but it's true - but I'm usually pretty stinkin cheerful.

And now the torch has been passed. I do believe the Positive Gene has been passed down yet again... Lately Finn has been telling stories of the harrowing events (at least to a 4 year old) that happen at Daycare: He kicked the ball and it hit her right in the face! Or, She didn't make it to the bathroom in time!... And as traumatic as these tales are he almost always goes on to say

But the good news is...

That's my boy! :)

The Track

2009-02-17T14:19:00.018-05:00

My funk is still there. No - Right here wrapped around me like an old sweater that really should have been thrown away a long time ago.

Last night my husband asked me if I was okay. He said I didn't even seem like I was here. Is it time to find someone to talk to?

Wow. How's that for a wake up call?

Here I was thinking I was the Stealth Bomber - doing a good job of hiding the fact that maybe I was dealing with a pesky little bit of depression. Guess not.

It's time.

The forced smile I put on for the sake of the boys isn't fair. To them or to me. I'm finding there are a lot of contributing factors - I'm finally beginning to name them. The stink of this funk has gotten too ripe and it's time to send it down the drain with the dirty bathwater.

The track always leads back to the same place: Despite several go 'rounds to convince myself otherwise, I dragged my ass out of bed at 5:00 this morning and got on the treadmill. Recent attempts at getting back in to a routine have been tough to keep up. (Damn Christmas cookies!)

I know I am better when I'm exercising. I know this. It really is amazing how a measly 30 minutes can clear the cobwebs and point your day in an entirely different direction.

And as far as finding someone to talk to? Well sorry, I hope you don't mind, but for now you're it.

It's time to refocus on what makes me happy and to find a way to quiet the sulking, sad, "boo-hoo for me" little girl who has forgotten how to take care of herself. Perhaps the longer days might help a bit too.

"Shit a cat's ass it's good to see the sun again." - from Judevine by David Budbill

Gotta get the glitter back. It's time.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-11T07:50:00.003-05:00

busted

4 Years Ago

2009-02-06T15:28:00.004-05:00

I'm counting down the days until he's 5... Where did the time go?

I Won!

2009-02-03T09:00:00.003-05:00

I NEVER win anything. I am SO excited to have won a little something just for me from Liz at A Giveaway A Day!

I won a $10 gift certificate to Pudleduck Soap Company! Yippee!

Anyone who knows me knows I'm kind of a soap whore. Yep. Love the stuff. Can't have too much - every scent is a new adventure.

Citrus Calendula Goat Milk Soap

So this win is right up my alley! They have so many wonderful items it's going to be impossible to choose! (High on the list: Tired Ol Bones Goat Milk Soap, Lemon Verbena Kitchen Bar or the Bergamot Sage Cold Process Gold Milk Soap ) And, they're in Maine to boot!

All I know right now is I'm certain I'll spend way more than the $10.

Thanks Liz! I'm so excited!!

Tag! I'm It!

2009-02-02T10:21:00.011-05:00

Kelly tagged me for a fun picture posting...

1. Go to the 4th picture folder on your computer

2. Post the 4th picture in that folder

3. Explain the picture

4 .Tag 4 more bloggers

This is Finn being baptised 4 years ago this week. He is being held by his Godfather, Uncle Gauv, and Godmother, Auntie Ky, is looking on.

Not the best picture but I loved it because the title is "Blessed" and today, I needed a reminder of how blessed we are.

And we are.

Now get to work ladies!

Sunset Zaguán

Dysfunctional Housewife

Fisherman's Daughter

Carsick In Kennebec

Are You Ready For Some Football?

2009-02-01T18:46:00.004-05:00

It's not the Patriots, but we're watching anyway!

Go Cardinals!

Craving

2009-01-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

After college, I was extremely fortunate to travel around South East Asia for several months. I started out in Bangkok and saw a bit of Thailand before heading south to Malaysia, Singapore and finally Indonesia.

All of these countries were amazingly beautiful. The people were so kind and generous. And the food! Oh. My. The food was so incredible.

On a small island off the coast of Lombok, Indonesia I was first introduced to Black Rice Pudding. Often served as breakfast with strong sweet tea, Burbur Injin with coconut cream became and instant favorite. I haven't had it since and there is a craving I can't shake - even more than 20 years later.

I am now officially on a quest to find a source for black glutinous rice and to perfect a recipe. My soul needs it.

Burbur Injin
• 1 cup black glutinous rice
• 3/4 cup white glutinous rice
• 2 pandan leaves (found at Asian markets)
• ¼ tsp sea salt
• 6 cups water
• ¼ cup palm or brown sugar
• 400ml tin coconut cream

Wash the rice thoroughly and soak it in cold water several hours or overnight.

Drain rice and combine with the water in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil stirring occasionally.

Reduce heat to a simmer. Add pandan leaf and cook, partially covered, about 30 minutes or until rice is very tender stirring occasionally.

Add sugar and stir until it dissolves into the rice. Remove pandanus leaf.

Rice may be eaten warm, but is preferable at room temperature or cold.

Serve rice drizzled with coconut cream

Good News / Bad News

2009-01-30T09:00:00.003-05:00

Good News: Owen continues to become the Master of the Potty! Yay!

Bad News: He's become enamoured with the toilet brush. I caught him dunking it in the bowl while he was peeing. My reaction startled him and as he rushed to remove it and return it to the holder, he sprayed the wall and floor making a disgusting mess.

My version of Neil's classic: A Mom Needs a Maid

My Big Boy

2009-01-29T10:47:00.003-05:00

Owen is doing so well with the potty training - even with being sick this week. He doesn't even ask for help unless he needs a wipe. If he has an accident, he quietly takes off his pants, puts them in the laundry basket and puts on new "ungavare" himself. I'm so proud.

This morning, we were all going about our usual routine. Daddy-O happened upon O in the bathroom peeing all by himself.

"Wow Owen! Nice job! Raise your hand if you're a big boy."

Both Owen and Daddy-O raised their hands.

"I'm a big boy too!"

"No, Daddy! You a Daddy!"

It put a big smile on my otherwise grumpy face.

Corner of Funk and Somewhere

2009-01-23T09:18:00.006-05:00

I just can’t figure myself out.

I should be the happiest person in the world. I have a wonderful, loving husband, two sweet and beautiful boys, a home we can afford, a decent job, a generous and loving extended family… So why am I feeling so down? Why is my fuse so short? Why do I raise my voice? Why do I feel so empty sometimes? There’s no explanation – or at least no rational one I can find.

I want so much to be able to define this funk but I just feel so lost right now…

Photo courtesy of Monkey River Town via Flickr

An Eye For an Eye

2009-01-22T12:27:00.004-05:00

I knew there was something different about him the first time I met him. The bar was darkly lit and from where he sat a halo of light surrounded his head making it difficult to see the details of his face. It wasn’t until a few more Friday Night Happy Hour celebrations in the same dark bar, that I realized that one of his eyes wasn’t “normal”. As we got to know each other the story emerged.

When he was a young boy, he and his brother were playing “swords”. Their mother, listening from the kitchen, warned them to be careful; “Stop that before someone puts an eye out.”

Fateful words. Haunting really.

With one swift jab, Pete’s left eye would be damaged beyond repair.

He lived his life like a normal boy – just only with sight in one eye. It never stopped him from doing anything his friends did. I can only imagine it might have taken him longer to make those friends; how the staring and taunting by too honest children would have made him feel.

But he grew up. His mother taught him confidence and never treated him differently. He married; became a skilled woodworker; a world traveler; a loyal friend; a friend who is outgoing and fun. He makes friends easily. But he always has to live with the fact that people who don’t know him well and don’t know his story yet will look at his face, first with a nervous glance and try not to stare in to that dark, dead eye.

Pressure began to build behind the eye a year ago. He’d get awful, debilitating headaches. A trip to an eye specialist diagnosed glaucoma and fluid problems and warned it would only get worse.

So it was with nervous excitement that he prepared for the surgery to remove the eye and prepare for a glass prosthetic. It was supposed to be a simple procedure and within a few weeks he dreamed his life would be dramatically different. No more pain. No more stares and awkward questions.

The operation went as planned and he wore his pirate’s patch with pride and offered to show us what was behind it.

Um. Nope. Thanks though!

But the healing didn’t happen as everyone had hoped. It took months of pain and disappointing check ups, but it healed. Slowly. And the day finally came, 4 months delayed, but Pete finally got his new eye!

I am so excited to finally see him and eagerly anticipate forgetting which eye is the bad one. But I will always cringe when I see my boys pick up a stick to play “swords”.

Congrats. PG! We’re so happy for you!

Mama Goose

Around the World in a Minute

Never Too Sleepy for Sports

Stop This (F*ing) Ride - I Want to Get (The F*) Off!

Snort

It's The Little Things...

SnOMG!

Super Cool

And Unto Us...

Partly Cloudy

Morning Ritual

More Outta the Mouths of Babes...

His Idea of Heaven

Another Day In Paradise

Really?

Awesome Romance

Transported

Mama's Little Helper(s)

The Rock and The Effing Hard Ass Place

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

It's Time

Six

One Cutie Deserves Another

If I have a blog, but don't post, does it still exist?

Nothing Says Love...

Seriously?

Yeah, I'm Like That

Rules For Being Human

ARGH!

Words of Wisdom

Seriously?

More Proof Mama Needs to Censor Herself

Twisted

If You're Happy and You Know it...

Patooties

Motivation (Or lack there of...)

Change of Plans

I Can

Oops, He Did it Again...

My Thoughtful Yittle Fwiahman

Recovery From a Full Weekend..

Remembering Gaga

Company Coming...

I Ain't Got Much

Housekeeper

Wardrobe Wednesday

Finally!

I'm Done

Wardrobe Wednesday

He Was. Really.

Please Don't Ask How My Children Are

Facebook Flashback

Signs Your Children Are Watching Too Much TV

7 Years

Hiatus

Playing For Change

Memories

Protocol

Anticipation

Wardrobe Wednesday

I Heart Faces!

Great Moments in Parenting

Hooray Hooray

I Scream, You Scream

Be Here Now

Boys

The Difference Between Men and Women

Let's Count!

Early Morning Conversation

We're Off to Camp Grammy!

Wardrobe Wednesday

4 Years

It Worked!!

When It Rains...

Wordless/Wardrobe Wednesday

The Last Snowman in Maine

What Everyone Needs

Why is it Always the Boys...

Wordless Wednesday

Either You Are, or You Aren't

Stop This (Fing) Ride - I Want to Get (The F) Off!